C is for Crushes: #AtoZChallenge

The articles and lists are a dime a dozen — Glamour’s “The 12 Types of Crushes Every Girl Will Have,” to Cosmo’s  hyperbolic “All the Types of Guys You Will Have Crushes on in Your Life” — and all mostly mention the same basic tropes and archetypes, , but I have to admit, it’s fun to reflect on those passing fancies.  As someone who tends to fall often (and hard), here’s a few of my favorites.

The Childhood Crush

When I was little, my mom was still close with her best friend, my godmother, Marilyn.  Marilyn had a son only a few months older than me named Jonathan.  And we were in love.  Apparently.  We were going to get married, at least.  I know this, because I found a note in my mother’s belonging written from me to Jonathan in 1988, telling him that we were no longer getting married because I was now in love with a boy named Michael.

Oh, and I guess Michael.  I guess I had a crush on him, too.

Weirdly, you’d think for someone I was going to marry, I’d have more memories on time spent with him, but I really don’t.  I have vague flashes of a back yard and a young boy, but no concrete memories.  Probably a good thing we called it off, really.

The Teacher Crush:

I was a Senior in college before I admitted to anyone that I was attracted to my advisor, and it was only because literally everyone in the room came out with the exact same confession that day.  

I don’t remember how we got on that topic – I think it was talking about “weird” crushes, and it was after Mary admitted to still having a crush on Disney’s Aladdin – that Dr. Scherwatzky’s name came up, and the whole group of us let out a collective swoon.

To be fair, he was cute in his own way – a bespectacled, dark haired, sort-of-nerdy man in his 40s (maybe?  I had just turned 21, everyone was either a “baby,” my age, or “old”) who spoke enthusiastically about his work in a way that made you care, even if you didn’t care.

“That kind of intelligence and passion is super sexy,” Mary said.  “It makes me want to throw him on his desk and… do things to him.”

We all nodded.  Yes.  We wanted to do things to him.  All the things.

The Best Friend Crush:

She wasn’t my best friend at the time; I barely knew her, even though we had gone to high school together, and I knew the feelings weren’t reciprocated.  Or at least, I was pretty sure they wouldn’t be, if she ever knew the feelings existed in the first place.  We shared a class together my Sophomore year, and I finally screwed up the courage to give her my email address after a few weeks.  I told myself that once I got to know her, the crush would fade – not because I thought I’d grow to dislike her, but because I fell so fast and so frequently, I knew there was a good likelihood that this would be just another passing fancy.  

That crush held strong for at least another three years.

I kept my mouth shut.  I don’t know why; she wasn’t the type of person to abandon a friend over something like that, and I’m not the type of person who can’t handle just being friends, but for whatever reason, I couldn’t bring myself to approach her about it.  I’m happily married, she’s happily involved (with a really great guy), and I have been happily “just” her friend for fifteen years, but part of me still regrets not having the guts to say something to her.

…Even though it turned out that she’d suspected the crush all along.  Apparently I’m not a stealth as I thought.  

Even more grateful for the continued friendship after finding that out, honestly.

The Ashamed to Admit It Crush:

You know the person you find yourself attracted to, even though they aren’t traditionally good looking, or even your type?  The one your friends sort of give you the side-eye about?

Steve Buscemi was that for me.  

Shut up.  Just, shut up right now.

I saw him for the first time in Ghost World, when I was nineteen and that entire film was just painfully, personally relevant, and I just fell head over heels.  I can’t explain it, but I can safely say that if you go looking, you can find a lot of people who feel the same way about him – and those who do, feel it strongly.  He’s either a punchline or a pin-up.  

I hit up the library and collected all the films I could find that he was even tangentially connected to, and binged.  I’m willing to bet that not a lot of you guys have never seen Trees Lounge, Living in Oblivion (which also stars Peter Dinklage, who is also really attractive), or Parting Glances?  Well, I have.  That last one I had to win off an eBay auction because it was obscure as shit and Netflix didn’t exist yet.  When I go in, I go all in, people.

The “Guy on the Train”:

Or the “substitute teacher,” in my case – like, the person you see, and they’re hot, and you construct a fantasy life in mind with them in it, an then you never see them again?

It was my first year teaching, and I was working full-time in the collaborative learning center.  I don’t remember who he was subbing for, but he kind of just meandered over and started a conversation, which… was not something I was accustomed to?  I was still shortly out of college (I was 23), mostly ignored in school, and had a pretty insular group of friends outside of school, and… strangers didn’t come up and talk to me, like, ever?  

Honestly, I think the novelty was a big part of the attraction, which is kind of pathetic, but it really was this weird Pavlovian “oh, someone is exhibiting seemingly genuine interest? Commence salivating!” kind of response.  He was kind of cute, I guess – I remember him being very angular, tall and lanky, with the sort of boxy hipster glasses that have found their way into the mainstream.  Honestly, I probably find him to be pretty insufferable now, because I remember him saying things like, in response to me saying I’d love to travel, “well, why don’t you then?  There’s nothing keeping you here,” which is the sort of privileged, assumptive bullshit that pushes my buttons these days.

Who are some of your memorable crushes?


Published by

Jessica Cross

Writer, maker, geek, feminist, mom. Not necessarily in that order.

8 thoughts on “C is for Crushes: #AtoZChallenge”

  1. A doctor, the surgery had like 12 doctors and if you wanted to be seen quickly then you just ticked that you would see anyone. I got this guy twice by fate and developed a huge crush on him. The next time I went I ticked his name specifically and found out that he was moving to Germany, it was a silly crush but I was a bit gutted when I found that out 🙂


    1. Sometimes there is just something about a character or actor that calls out to you,and they become attractive from there 😉 I’ve never actually seen the show (but I know how Jason Lee is), though I heard it talked up wuite a bit.
      Thanks for the comment xx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Never had a teacher crush. In my day, they were mostly women until high school and then, they were bitter old men.

    If you have time, stop over for a visit, at my blog post.

    “Let no man pull you low enough to hate him” Martin Luther King, Jr.

    #AtoZChallenge CIVIL RIGHTS Movement


    1. Most of my teachers until high school were nuns. I had one of two minor teacher crushes in high school, but nothing that hit quite that hard until college.

      I’ll try to hit up your blog in the morning (it’s close to 10:30 and I have work!) Have fun with the rest of the challenge! xx

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Love this post. In elementary school, all the girls thought one of the teachers was really cute. He ended up marrying another teacher at the school years later after they had tried to convince us 6th graders that they were cousins lol. I don’t think I have a shameful celebrity crush although I have a thing for Benedict Cumberbatch that some friends don’t understand. I know a lot of people don’t find him attractive.


    1. I fell out of and then back into the Sherlock fandom, and have always found Benedict especially attractive in that role. He’s hit or miss for me most of the rest of the time (though I definitely never found him UNattractive).

      I could have gone into elementary and high school crushes (on teachers and fellow students) And celebrities, but that would have made the post infinitely longer, lol.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Can’t say I had many of your crush “types” in my life. I had one major crush on a boy my age from elementary school all the way through high school. And no, we didn’t get together. 😦 Think he’s in NY now working as a lawyer. *swoon* 🙂 Then there is my husband. May have had a celeb crush or two though. 🙂

    With Love,


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s